“There’s no such thing as Santa,” jeered the group of older boys
“there isn’t any reindeer, any elves or magic toys.”
“Oh yes there is” I cried aloud, my little fists curled tight,
“He’s on his way with loaded sleigh to visit us tonight.”

“I made the most important wish a boy could ever make
and I’ve been good for oh so long, been good for goodness sake.”
And though the tears burned in my eyes, I swore I wouldn’t cry,
I didn’t want to be a man, but promised dad I’d try.

That night was spent, just mom and me, like many nights before;
the house was never quite the same since dad went off to war.
We had our Christmas dinner and we sang O Holy Night,
We read about that meany Grinch and cheered when he did right.

But sadness showed within Mom’s eyes as she stood by my bed,
and tucked the covers to my chin and kissed me on the head.
“Don’t worry mom,” I whispered “things are gonna be all right.”
“We’re sure to get our Christmas Wish when Santa comes tonight.”

I tried my best to stay awake and listen to the roof,
for telltale ring of jingle bells or clop of reindeer hoof.
But snug and warm it wasn’t long before I gave a yawn,
And would have gone to sleep but for the noise out on the lawn.

Then came the clump of heavy boots across the hardwood floor,
the tread somehow familiar like I’d heard it once before.
As quiet as a mouse I crept, my eyes flew wide to see
the silhouette that stood alone before the Christmas tree.

His frame was lean and fit, he had no belly big and round,
the heavy sack a duffle that he placed upon the ground.
He didn’t wear a stitch of red, the uniform was green,
And not a single jingle bell, just medals could be seen.

And then the strongest arms on earth wrapped ’round and held me tight,
and I knew then that Santa really rode on Christmas night,
and Christmas Wishes did come true, just like I knew they had,
For Santa came on Christmas night and brought me home my dad.

- Michael Marks

Dear Ms. Wilkie,

It is my understanding that Sir John A. Macdonald Secondary School has a strict dress regulation regarding hats, visors, and other headwear all of which students are forbidden to wear while inside the school. Quite evidently due to political correctness, articles that are of a religious nature shall be the exception in this ruling. This is where my concern arises, as on a daily basis I am asked to remove my headwear that is linked to my religious views as a Pastafarian (a follower of the Church of FSM) and up to now I have abided your requests and those of other faculty.

I wouldn’t expect you to tell a Jewish student to remove his kippah/yarmulke, or an Muslim female to remove her hijab. If members of one religion are allowed to wear their religious headwear, then it is my understanding that all must be allowed. Although some may not consider the Pastafarians to be a religious group, I cannot imagine that a public school would be in the business of saying what is or is not a religion, and who may and may not publicly display their beliefs. Why is it that when I wear my Scally Cap* in respect of the FSM I am constantly asked to remove it? The decision to exclude members of a religion from displaying their own religious headwear while allowing other individuals to do so is troubling.

Something that may have been at the root of this problem is that I did not formally seek permission/acknowledgment to wear this headwear. Since this may be the case you would be right and we were remiss. Now with the receipt of this letter, what steps must we Pastafarians take to arrange the same permission that allows others to wear their religious headwear? I hope I can work with you to make this happen in a timely fashion.

Thank you for taking the time to address my concerns, and I look forward to speaking to you during our meeting tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Daniel Crowe

*
A scally cap is headwear adorned by 19th century pirates, which has roots dating back as far as 14th century English and Irish history therefore meets the requirements defining it as pirate regalia. According to the Prophet Bobby Henderson (Author, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster), a religious headdress must be worn every day, as it is disrespectful to other Pastafarians and to the deity Flying Spaghetti Monster to teach the ways inscribed within The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster unless adorned in full pirate regalia.

In turn, this qualifies a scally cap to be considered religious headwear. It is understood that Sir John A. Macdonald Secondary School has strict dress regulations regarding hats, visors, and other headwear. The appearance code (Page 17, Sir John A. Macdonald Student Planner, 2007) states that “hats and visors are not to be worn in the school…religious head-wear excepted.” Thus, those who practice the teachings of Pastafarianism should be permitted to don a scally cap in observance of their beliefs while being exempt from persecution.

Before I even explain anything I would like to apologize to any of my readers who’ve been left hanging in the wind recently! I’ve been rather busy with work and paintball in recent times; which is partially what this post is about.

Anyways, as most of my readers might already know — I am an avid paintballer. This has lead to a sequence of events and opportunities which inevitably  lead to the formation of Team Whitebread and the acquiring of vital sponsors such as SOF Paintball.

In the long run, I really cannot thank my friends and family enough! You have all been such a great help in getting everything moving along. Ranging from ‘Daaaad, I need a drive to paintball!’ to ‘Please help me get back to the safe zone, feels like my body is about to die (damned suicide runs).’ I look forward to every moment spent with this sport in the times to come. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to the guys and gals of team Wrath, CANTRU and the rest of the SOF Paintball crew. You’ve been helpful to myself and Whitebread to the extent of what words cannot quite express. I owe you all a beer.

Now if only my god damned X7 would start working like it should. 1000$+ later I have a worthless hunk of junk. What a sad day…

Below is the current roster as of June 22, 2009.

• Daniel ‘Danimal’ MacEnchroe
• Randy ‘Randoo’ Beck
• Aaron ‘Duncler’ Duncan
• Mike ‘Token’ Cobey
• Patrick ‘Hollywood’ McEachern
• Nick ‘Hellhammer’ Horvath
• Jesse ‘Rye’ Beland
• Jason ‘Lobes’ Fetter
• Bill ‘Radio’ Hazlett
• Andrew Staton
• Jenn ‘Farnswiggle’ Farnsworth

I look forward to seeing people on the field!

Quote from: Hot Lips on March 08, 2007, 13:59:47
Every other day of the year…

We don’t even have to bone; I don’t wanna be alone in my one bedroom like I am every night, Watching sport centre, football highlights, Can’t let you walk outa my life without a name and a smile and some game for your file. I can tell you a freak by the way that you dance with that tattoo showing at the top of your pants. Not love but I fell in lust with a glance. The way you shake your hips got your boy in a trance. So I’m take that chance without the wingman. Me getting shut down is not in the plan. See a G like me is so hard to take out. I ‘aint even trying to fuck, I just wanna make out. Push my tounge past your lips a little something like this…

Kiss.  You got to not talk dirty baby.

I’m not about to put my lips on a mouth that’s unclean. You can holla back if you know what I mean. Let me fuck around and talk that shit. Smoke cigaretes and grab my dick. Take shots of tequilla till you tell me to quit. Imma take one more then I promise that’s it. How many? Two more, what’ya think? Now I’m feeling kinda sick but baby don’t trip. Imma throw up once and be back in the mix. Just don’t let me get it on my new kicks. Somebody step on them and watch me flip cause’ they cost me a grip and I’m flossing my bitch. I’m trying to be hard but I’m soft as shit. What I need is a great big hug and a…

Kiss.

Jordan Aref says:

breast cancer 3-day walk motto: Because everyone deserves a lifetime
You have a lifetime. Unfortunately, it’s shorter than most.

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

LOL

We then also have moments where we are so daft it makes my head hurt. Yet, whenever I look back at them they always provide great amusement. Like this gem.

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

oi

Jordan Aref says:

oi

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

oi

Jordan Aref says:

oi

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

OI

Jordan Aref says:

OI

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

OI!!

Jordan Aref says:

OI!!

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

OI!!!!

Jordan Aref says:

oi

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

oi

Jordan Aref says:

IO
1

Daniel MacEnchroe says:

lol… fuck this. I know I’m bored but this is pushing the limits of being classified as a retard.

Also

Anyone else notice how Obama is totally taking back all of the ideas he ran on? Almost his entire campaign was based on economic reconstruction. Now he claims that he can’t do anything at all during the first four years of his presidency. He also said that in the first 120 days of his presidency, we would be out of Iraq. He now says that we need to stay in there until we finish up. He also kept the same military officials as Bush (much to the democrats’ dismay.) As President Elect, he was allowed to set into motion a lot of things. So far he’s not keeping any of his promises.

There are two ways that I see this turning out now…

a) Obama is now going to fall victim to the media hype that won him the presidency. Everyone is going to be expecting immediate “change” and improvements from the moment he steps into office. Anything short of him miraculously getting USA out of Iraq and stabilizing their economy and he’ll be crucified and lose to the republican candidate in 2012.

b) Obama is going to run the country into the ground and no one will care cause he’s so likable. Then he’ll get re-elected in 2012 using his 2008 campaign and people will be talking about his legacy. Congrats will go to the liberals as they just got Clinton part 2. Only this time minus the oral sex.

I know I’m going against the grain here. I do have hopes that he will end up doing good for the country. But that’s about it; ‘Hope’ as his campaign so quaintly puts it. People need to stop listening to the propaganda and media and take a look at things for themselves. Name me ONE specific policy that Bush enacted that somehow led to the collapse of the housing bubble! I’m willing to bed you cannot. It was a credit bubble, not Bush. It’s the banks and lending markets that caused all this. The president has minimal control over economic stability since the private banks started controlling the American currency way back when.

Now in saying all of this; There is always case ‘c’…

c) Things go better then expected.

In the end, Politicians are politicians. Tomorrow will tell the tales of how things are going to turn out. I have high hopes for 2009. I now leave you with this…

I feel kind of weird starting this with a quotation from Adolf Hitler but here goes…

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

-Adolf Hitler

It’s petrifying – the truth held in this quote that is.  This is war now; The terrorist radicals taking their religious works to the extreme like the crusades of yonder years. It seems like insanity in this day and age. Yet this is what we are subjected to day after day, hour after hour. I’ve held sentiments that this ‘War on Terror’ lead by the United States of America has lead the world to the brink of WWIII all over again.  The only time that my mind wandered from this is the Russian invasion of Georgia (Speaking of, has there even been news of this recently?)

This all leads to what I consider a rather shocking find (albeit probable hoax) on facebook today while browsing some old groups in the hopes of removing the old/non relevant ones. It definitely caught my attention. If that was their point, they have succeeded. I’ve posted it below in italics.

World War III goes on, Tactics updates

Special orders: All Muslim movements are to emphasize individual murders and use of simple firearms to do shooting attacks and murder as priority and urgent orders state to gun down any and every American and West European anywhere they could be found worldwide with no hesitation with priority to kill Westerners. 2 Belgians shot dead in Morocco, 4 French shot dead in Mauritania and thousands of deaths in Europe and other examples of shooting attacks helped equalize worldwide Muslim front worldwide. Praising also use of tactics including setting fires and other tactics for numerous victories worldwide. Emphasizing the need to switch to shooting attacks especially. Couple of things. Regarding prisoners. Plenty of schools offer courses in how to escape, turn things against the prisoner takers, provide information and be an information gatherer to tell where to find the people and movements to destroy them for taking prisoners. General orders had been for years now to kill prisoners right away.Secondly, shooting attacks. Greater than bombs and plotting to bomb places and length of time and often getting caught trying to acquire material and risking someone in the group is an informer using simple guns, rifles, shotguns, machine guns, but also knives and anything that stabs or shoots to murder enemy people and citizenry as individual murders or shooting places and people up which often kills 10s of people and wounds plenty and one person can be as effective in the aftermath similar to a suicide bombing or general bombing and with a purpose minor units and formations can bring countries to their knees in a quick and cheap way risking loss of individuals causing mass casualties. Often bombs miss their targets or go off prematurely killing only the bomber or causing few casualties. Basically the mission is to cut all the wires, tires, set all the fires, shoot everybody up, destroy and damage everything and leave nothing intact and to skip nothing. Remember to memorize these tactics and continue the Forever War in case anything is deleted electronically

Anyone have any thoughts on this ridiculous piece? I know I don’t really know what to make of it. I has both captivated me and angered me. These ideologies are what is wrong with the world today.

Anywho, I leave you with perhaps one of my favorite popular culture quote in relation too WWIII…

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

-Albert Einstein

Before reading take note that this is just a brief military history for the reasoning of slapping some sense back into American Media/Propaganda. Far too often America is portrayed as the end all in military forces and are the main reasons for ww1, ww2 being resolved/They gave the most. Anyways; Do read on beyond the jump folks – It’s an interesting read.

1775-1783: The British crown presents a bill to American settlers who must now pay for their protection. Ungrateful settlers who are already allergic to taxes go on a rampage and attack tea boxes on a ship; several Americans are wounded in explosions. Americans win their sole victory in Saratoga when general Burgoyne realizes that Canadian merchants sold him ragweed instead of tea before his departure. Facing a mutiny he decides to surrender. In the following years Americans will lose most of ther battles due to their lack of discipline and massive desertions. In 1781, 30,000 French soldiers & sailors accept to integrate 11,000 American mascots who will play music from afar while the French win the Battle of Yorktown.

1812: The American army is crushed trying to invade Canada and abandons annexation plans. During the 19th century, several raids are led against Indian women and babies with the US troops achieving some victories, but fail in their effort to ethnically cleanse the Indians. Nevertheless, some successful slaughters will lead them to believe that they are mighty and courageous warriors.

1861-1865: Americans win an impressive victory against themselves but it took a while. The Civil War as it comes to be called, will turn out to be the only war Americans ever win. Mind you they beat themselves, but why digress.

1898: The Spanish succeed a master coup and get rid of Cuba, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines at the expense of the Americans, leaving them the impression that they won the war. Soon the US discovers that there is no oil there, and that their new possessions are a wastebasket, more than anything else.

1900-1950: A series of military interventions against banana republics in South America and the Caribbean against people armed with slingshots and spears has a beneficial effect on the American ego.

1918: The Americans arrive just on time to see the victory of the French and the British against the Germans. They then turn around, and try to claim the high ground by sabotaging the peace treaty and stabbing France in the back when it tries to enforce reparations and prevent Germany from rearming, thus setting the stage for WWII.

1941-1945: While as many as 20 million Russians die bleeding the Wermacht to death, the US wait until the Germans are left with the Hitler Youth, a childrens’ force comprised of 14 year old soldiers to launch their assault. They are still saying today that they suffered heavy loses at their hands. In the whole Normandy Campaign they suffer less casualties than the French did in the first six weeks of 1940, and inflict less damage on the Germans, yet this is enough for them to claim they liberated Europe.

1950-1953: The US fails to beat North Korea, in 1953 the borders are still roughly what they were three years earlier.

1963-1973: Americans suffer cruelly from the lack of AC and marijuana of a poor quality in Vietnam. When they realize that their soldiers can be killed in a war they retreat.

1983: The combined aviation, navy and ground troops apply an audacious plan and succeed to beat a bunch of cuban workers armed with shovels in Granada. The celebrations go on for weeks with parades and chants of USA, USA.

1991: Americans align more soldiers than the French or the British combined and succeed in crushing an army of barefoot shiite drafted against their will who are armed with empty rifles and have barely had a thing to eat in months. But even this so-called victory is hollow as it is actually led by the Daguet division from France which leads the charge while American soldiers console themselves by rounding up prisoners that TV crews did not want.

1992-1999: The war of Kosovo: The US let the British and the French do the dirty job on the ground but take the credit as usual.

1993: Somalia : is there anything to say ?

2003: Iraq… We’ll see how this wraps up soon enough.

Do take note that I’m not saying the American Military has not provided a very valuable role in the wars won against evil (see ww1, ww2, Kosovo) but instead that that they are overglorified in media and text books as near gods in the military world. This is hardly the case when taking a look at their Military history (France won more wars than any other nation in the world.) They need to show some recognition/respect for other countries that played a far larger roles in the battles and wars over the years. In respect to the civil war, General Washington never won a battle, and the French did win the last battle for them. America did wage a decent guerrilla war. Think of Washingtons army as the ‘gooks’ of Vietnam, the guerrillas lost all the battles, but always inflicted more casualties on the enemy. America lost tactically, but won strategically. America ended up using the French in this war as they renegged on all prior deals/trade arrangements in the end. American Pride eh? The French used to kick a copious amount of ass back in the day. America needs to remember, if it weren’t for the French hating England with a passion, they’d still be a tea drinking Commonwealth nation. The French Navy really saved their asses. Enjoy your ‘Freedom Fries’ assholes.

So, there comes a few times in everyone’s lives that they question their existence; It just so happens that that time has struck yet again for myself.  There appears to be no reason as to why I’ve been infatuated by these thoughts recently, but it happened. Anyways, I have a few questions for the religious folks out there and you can view them after the jump.

1. Where are dinosaurs and early hominids in the bible?
2. Why do you cry when someone dies, since they’re supposedly going to an infinite paradise?
3. How come for every religion there is, yours is right, and theirs is wrong?
4. Why is it that if a massacre occurs at a church, you all say god was watching over you? even when 3/952 people survived?
5. Why does just about everyone believe in Jesus but no one agrees on anything about him?
6. How come the “All loving and all forgiving God” sends anyone who doesn’t worship them to suffer for eternity? Isn’t that just a little vain?

If you are reading this and do have some form of religious beliefs could you please answer any/all of this at your leisure? I’m just in a very curious mood. On a semi related note I present this…

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?

Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing?

Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing?

Then why call him God?

- Epicurus

I just found this particular quote rather interesting as I find it to be a fairly strong argument – That just so happened to be brought up in 33 A.D.

Cheers to anyone reading. A little extra to anyone who responds with some content.